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I'm not a very confrontational guy by nature. This is especially true when it comes to people I don't know. But I'll share with you two examples where I did confront people I didn't know, and then I'll get to my point.
One evening as the sun was disappearing in the western sky, I was driving down a relatively major street on my way to my church for a rehearsal. Because it was a densely populated part of town, the street was four lanes wide, and cars were known to drive rather fast up and down it. About 50 yards from the light-controlled intersection, a woman and her small child were crossing the street from the grocery store, across the four lanes, to the apartments on the other side. They had gotten as far as two lanes, and she stopped in the middle of this busy street because cars were zipping around the corner from an even busier street. Had she just gone down to the corner, she could have pressed the button and crossed in the crosswalk, controlled by a light. But no. With child in tow, she decided to play real life Frogger. I was driving down one of the lanes she had already crossed. I slowed down, rolled down my window and gave her a firm drive-by lecture. If you're going to be stupid with your own life, that's one thing. But when you endanger a child, that's absolutely criminal.
The next story was again involving my being in my car. I was circling a parking lot outside a very crowded movie theater. I noticed some people were getting in their car to leave, so I patiently waited for them to back out. They were to my left, so I stopped and put on my left turn blinker. I waited a minute or so. Just before they began backing out, another car was approaching from the opposite direction, facing me. As the parked car began backing out, it became clear they wanted to go the same direction I was going, so they were backing out in front of me. As they did so, I was effectively screened out from being able to move into the spot until after they put it in Drive to move forward. The car that had just showed up had a free shot at the newly vacated parking stall, so he took it. He was there long enough and without obstruction to see that I was there first, with my turn signal activated. Yet, he took the spot and violated parking lot etiquette. I sat there stunned. I waited for him to get out of the car, when I noticed he had a little girl with him. I said to him, "Nice. You've set a real nice example for your little girl."
I have a real problem with people who take lightly their responsibility as a role model. Kids, whether they're your own or just children you know, are watching you. I recently saw an exchange on Facebook where a woman from a large church had updated her status to communicate, "Let the drinking begin", followed by another which indicated how much she was needing "lots of drinks". That could mean anything, but the following back and forth comments made it clear she meant adult beverages because she was stressed out. Then, a teenager from the church, her son's age, innocently, perhaps naively, asked if she meant energy drinks.
Whether we like it or not, we live our lives in front of an audience. Facebook, Twitter and all that only make the world smaller, and our influence greater. What are we communicating to those who are watching us? Are we sending mixed signals? Are we one way when we see people in church, but something very different when we think no one is looking? Or when we forget that they can see us?
As an adult, I understand we all have the desire and the freedom to cut loose on occasion. But we need to be mindful of the message we are sending to those who see us as role models. Are the things we are doing consistent with the message we preach? If you want to get a little wild and crazy with your own life, that's between you and God. But if you do it in plain view of children who look up to you, the stakes are higher.
Last week, my church came under some criticism after it was featured in the Sacramento Bee. The paper did a piece about the amazing renovation to our children's ministry area unveiled just before Easter. It underwent an incredible makeover in order to draw children and excite them about being in and coming to church. Before the actual Children's Church service, there is an activity center where they can play Wii games, air hockey and other fun activities. The younger kids enter their area through a pirate ship, and the 4th and 5th graders enter a Tahoe ski lift themed area. On the Bee's online edition, readers could leave comments. So many who represented themselves as Christians ripped us for our effort:
- "How utterly pathetic is this? Pagan idolatry masquerading as Christianity, perfect."
- "What ever happened to just preaching the Word of God? It's very sad that nowadays churches are trying just about anything to get people "in the door". It's a generation of church going people but ones that don't really get taught the Word of God. It's based on emotions and not Biblical truth."
- "I'm appalled that you all have the nerve to say your [sic] Christians. Where is the book, chapter, verse that says worshiping God is suppose to be fun"
- "Entertainment is not what a real church is about. The gospel preached from John the Baptist, Jesus, and the disciples revolved around repentance and the forgiveness of sins, and nowhere do we have them resorting to entertaining people in order to present that message."
Let me remind you. This is the children's area! Why is it so horrifying to people that the children have fun on Sunday mornings? People get so uppity and critical when someone dares to be innovative. The article clearly stated that the kids have their own worship service, and parents and children were quoted about the kids' enthusiasm in learning about Jesus in a way they can understand and retain. But people who have never seen it miss that and instead, criticize the manner in which people are being reached.
Last Saturday night, I attended an Easter service at the area's largest church. The praise and worship portion of the service was reminiscent of a rock concert. Lights, smoke machines, guitar solos, a charismatic front man. It had it all. Then the pastor came out in his boots, jeans, and untucked casual shirt, sat down on a stool and shared a great message. The place was packed out with thousands of people, and probably 100 people raised their hands for salvation.
Isn't THAT what it's about?
If a church like that, or like mine isn't your cup of tea, fine. Go somewhere else. That's OK. But we're on the same team! If a hundred people in a single service at another church ask Jesus into their hearts, rejoice! If even one family gets out of bed and goes to church on Sunday because they heard of a dynamic children's ministry for their kids, rejoice! You're missing out on the celebration if you get all huffy over how it's getting done, and that grieves God.
If your church is growing, active in the community and people's lives are being changed, awesome! If your church isn't growing, but you're criticizing the ones that are, perhaps you ought to reexamine your motives and your tactics. If you're not culturally relevant in your community, you're not going to win many people.
19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
~1 Corinthians 9:19-23
Have you ever done something for someone out of the kindness of your own heart, only to have them give you something for your effort anyway?
Several years ago, a lady in my church lost her husband suddenly from a massive stroke. Just like that, he was gone. She called me the next day and asked me to sing his favorite song at his funeral. What an honor. He was a particularly special man, and I was humbled to be part of his celebration. The song I was asked to sing was one of my favorites as well, In Christ Alone.
After the beautiful and inspirational service, the widow approached me with a look on her face I'll never forget. I struggle to put into words what she said to me in her expression. But I could tell that what I provided for her was something completely invaluable to her. For me, being part of this special day, and the honor of being asked personally by the widow was absolutely sufficient for me. But that look on her face was my goal. As she hugged me and said thank you, she stuffed some money in my coat pocket. I quickly grabbed it and tried to return it to her. She looked me straight in the eye and, without saying it this way, she convinced me that the only way she knew to tangibly appreciate my effort was in this way. Had I rejected her, I would have extinguished what was burning in her heart.
There is something particularly profound when we are rewarded for something we do when we are filled to satisfaction by simply doing it.
I have often told people that if there was no such thing as heaven, God is still deserving of my love, my devotion and my life. Heaven is not my motivation. It is not my goal. It is, however, my destination. I live the life I live because I am filled beyond satisfaction by merely being a Christian. The joy I have in serving God, in being active in ministry, in blessing others, in exploring the bible, in prayer, in worship...it's a reward unto itself. But the fact remains, heaven is promised to me.
I am of the belief that while I am rewarded with the promise of eternal life in perfect fellowship with God, heaven isn't primarily for my benefit. Instead, I believe that God prepared a place where He could spend eternity with His greatest love of all.
Us.
While the money the woman gave me was a blessing, it meant much more to her than it did to me. Believe me, heaven will be a place I will appreciate in ways which are too great for my pea brain to process. But with a facial expression I've seen before, from the widow that day, I can imagine the heart of God reaching out to me in a manner which says how priceless it is to Him that I chose to live my life for Him, and that we will spend eternity together.
THAT is my motivation.
There seems to be a trend developing in our culture these days which I'm hoping people will see through for what it is. I can't keep up with all the causes that make their way to our society. Most are legitimate and worthy of attention. However, I believe that others are merely man-made diversions from personal responsibility.
Just last week, we learned that there is a watchdog group out to rid our world of the scourge called Ronald McDonald. Why? Because they feel he is personally responsible for child obesity. I remember Ronald McDonald when I was a kid, and I can assure you he had nothing to do with my McInterest in McFood of any McKind. My parents were definitely the biggest influence on my diet as a kid. Not a TV clown. The next thing you know, the guy with the giant ping pong ball for a head with the yellow cone hat will be the target. What about the cartoon leprechaun who wants you to buy his marshmallow laden breakfast cereal? I grew up watching the Three Stooges, and never once poked any of my friends in the eyes or dragged a handsaw across their scalp.
Then you have serial philanderers Tiger Woods and Jesse James. The extramarital exploits of these men have made the headlines over the past few months. Sure, each of them issued their own public apologies accepting the blame for their troubles and the anguish they caused their loved ones. But they did so practically on the steps of their respective rehab centers for sexual addiction. On one hand, they accept responsibility, on the other, they're victims of a disease.
Rather than blame a cartoon character, and rather than waiting to take steps to overcome our foibles until after we're caught, we have become a culture seeking scapegoats for bad behavior. In doing so, we circumvent personal responsibility.
At the root of all this is sin. The bible says we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Some of you old fogies like me may remember the comedian Flip Wilson. One of his most famous characters he created for his self-titled variety show in the 70s was Geraldine Jones. Her famous catch phrase was, "the devil made me do it." This tactic of blameshifting is nothing new. In fact, it dates back to the first humans. In Genesis 3:12, when confronted by God as to why he ate of the forbidden fruit, Adam not only blamed Eve, but blamed God himself! "The woman you put here with me..."
It is time we own up to our responsibilities. If you don't want your kids to eat themselves into obesity, "train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6. If you have moral weaknesses which will blow up your life and family, fix it now! You don't need to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in a trendy rehab center. Get on your knees before God. Humble yourself. Surrender yourself to Him. Hunger for the things of God so that your hunger for the things of the flesh will be overwhelmed. If you're not already part of a good church, find one today. If you need help finding one in your area, feel free to contact me and I'll personally help you.
We are all sinners. This isn't about blame. This isn't about excusing our behavior by creating a disorder to mask our sin. This is about admitting that as humans, we are weak and vulnerable. But if we tap into the power, mercy and grace of God, there is nothing we can't do! (Philippians 4:13)
The following is a post I wrote roughly one month after I moved from San Jose to Rocklin. If you've ever taken a gigantic step of faith, you rarely experience the payoff immediately. If you're anything like me, (God help you), you go through a period of time asking yourself, "are you SURE you did the right thing?" The following post was in the midst of one of those moments, and God once again calmed me and assured me that no matter what it is, no matter where it is, obeying God is always the right thing.
Amazing Love
You know, I really have to apologize to God sometimes. I'm not talking about asking for forgiveness for some horrible act. What I'm talking about is the ways I seem to forget about His nature and underestimate him. One thing that drives me nuts is being underestimated. When someone who I think ought to know me better just doesn't get me when I think they should. That hurts me personally.
I've been a Christian now for 25 years. You'd think stuff about God just wouldn't surprise me anymore. You'd think I'd simply come to expect Him to meet me where I am when I stop and put myself in a position to have such a meeting.
Today marks one month in Rocklin for me. As I sit in my office, I looked at my bookshelf and noticed my Oswald Chambers book, My Utmost For His Highest. I've had this book for many years. I used to read it every single day, but I must confess, it's been quite awhile since I've cracked it open. I silently challenged God to defy the odds and have today's entry be somewhat relevant to where I am in my life today. I mean, c'mon...it's probably going to be something about loving your wife, tending sheep, running a marathon or some other equally irrelevant thing when looking at my life.
Psst, here's a tip. When challenging God at something, the smart money is on Him.
Click here to read today's entry for yourself. This is one of those cases where not only did God give me a word that speaks directly to me, I'm almost convinced this entry applies to me only. I mean, everyone knows this stuff, right? Heck, I'm pretty sure I know it. But at the same time, I really needed to read this today.
If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, and it's only been going since July 8, you probably sense that I'm in this intense faith phase. But faith isn't really faith if it comes with worry and stress. Do you really trust someone when you hand them the keys to your car and they have to pry them from your white-knuckled kung fu grip? Faith must be accompanied by peace. There are times when I'm completely surrendered and at peace. Then there are other times when I'm clenched up in my spirit.
This is yet another example of how good it is for all of us that I'm not God. If I were Him, I would have made one significant pillar of salt out of someone like me.
I have been very fortunate enough to obtain several tickets to next Saturday night's regular season finale of the San Jose Sharks. But these are no ordinary tickets. These are not nosebleed seats. No. These are seats in a luxury suite! It's an awesome place from which to watch a game, and it even has its own bathroom! That's right, you don't have to stand in some horrible line waiting for your turn! How 'bout that?
The game is next Saturday night, April 10th at 7:30 at the HP Pavilion in downtown San Jose. The Sharks will be taking on their division rivals, the Phoenix Coyotes. This will be a very important game, as the Coyotes are right on the Sharks heels for first place in the division, and this game could decide who has the home ice advantage throughout the entire playoffs!
You'll be joining my dad and me for a fun night. Here's how the contest works. The first three people to correctly answer the question below will win one ticket each. The first TWO with the correct answer will also get a parking pass! If you have the answer, please send me a private message via my personal Facebook page. You do not need to be one of my Facebook friends to do so, but if you're not already, please add me as a friend anyway!
Only current members of the Crossing Paths Facebook fan page can win. You can easily join the group here. It's FREE!
OK, all that mumbo jumbo is now done. Here's the question! Within the last two weeks, I wrote a post listing comments I received on Facebook from friends. Only two of the people who wrote me knew each other. What relationship do they share with one another?
A) Husband/Wife
B) Brother/Sister
C) Brother/Brother
D) Mother/Daughter
Remember, only the first three correct answers sent privately to me via my PERSONAL Facebook page, by Crossing Paths members, are eligible to win. Good luck!
Now, in Photo Phriday tradition, here is a picture which shows you your view from the suite we'll be sitting in. And if you click here, you'll open up a slideshow of 12 photos I've taken from Sharks games I've attended. I hope to see you at The Tank!!
It seems that the stance I took this week here on Crossing Paths has cost me a friend on Facebook. On one hand, I'm saddened. On the other hand, I don't take it personally. It's nothing big. A disagreement on tactics. I don't apologize for the stance I took, or how I took it. I don't regret it. If someone feels that I'm arrogant or judgmental for calling all Christians, myself included, to live our lives by a higher standard...I can live with that. I'm certainly not out to lose friends, but I am not willing to hold back just so people won't be uncomfortable. We ought to be a little uncomfortable when we measure our lives by God's standard.
Jesus saved His harshest words for those who professed to be religious. A great example of that was the woman caught in the act of adultery. The religious leaders set up a sting operation to catch the woman, then dragged her to Jesus. But their plan to put Jesus between a rock and a hard place backfired on them. Rather than condemn the woman, who clearly was in the wrong and subject to the law of the day, Jesus used the situation to shine the light of truth on those who claimed to be righteous. He extended grace to the sinner while putting a divine smackdown on those who sought to cause Jesus to compromise. You can bet they were more than a little uncomfortable.
I will not be so audacious as to compare myself to Jesus in any significant way. But I will say that, like Him, I will speak bluntly and boldly to my fellow believers when it comes to us living our lives appropriately. I do not do so in a manner that says I have arrived at a higher level of maturity or accomplishment because I am the least among us. I speak from my heart based on what God is burning into it. We are co-laborers. If we are each working out our salvation daily, if we are each striving toward the same thing, we can learn from each other. If we are humble enough to see ourselves for who we really are, we can edify and exhort, and receive such from one another as we pursue greater depths of faith, and greater heights of blessing.
A former pastor of mine once said, "If you feel like I'm stepping on your toes, maybe your toes are in the wrong place." If we are offended when someone challenges us to live by a higher standard, we really ought to examine ourselves to see if we have given the gospel a 21st century makeover.
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
15 Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. 16 Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.
Philippians 3:12-16
