Today marks what would have been my mom's 75th birthday. She was a mere 29 years old when she brought me into the world, and she left it 44 years and 23 days later. It has now been 19 months since she left us, but her influence in my life remains with me every single day. This is the mark of an extraordinary person.
Through the magic of Facebook, I have heard from many former classmates from my youth who remember my mom. Without exception, the comments I receive are memories of her beauty, both inside and out.
The only drawback to being the legacy of a remarkable person is the impossible task of living up to her example. She made life seem easy. Her grace, her humility, her simplicity, her faith. These qualities were what drove her through her life. When I was a young boy, she sacrificed so much to shield me from the complexities of life. When I was an adolescent, she often assumed the role of father, as well as mother, due to my dad's grueling work demands as a police inspector in San Francisco. Mom attended every single sporting event I ever participated in. Believe me, between the ages of 5 and 18, with all the sports I played, I kept her busy. It wasn't just the games, but also the practices.
I know there were times when my decisions in life didn't please her. In fact, I know there were times when I broke her heart. But with the qualities she possessed which made her the amazing human being she was, she was a faithful and supportive mother. Through her tears, I know she prayed for me.
As a grown man, I know how complicated life really is. As an adult, I learned of the extreme difficulties my mother endured as a young mother of two. Those who knew her know what an extraordinary person she was. But no one can truly comprehend to what degree.
I am blessed enough to know.
I pray that I would display even a small percentage of the grace, dignity and strength my mom demonstrated each and every day of her life, particularly in her final 10 years.
Her's was a life well lived. And each of us who knew her are better for having had her influence in our lives.
Mom, you are missed. Your love is alive and in my heart. Thank you for living your life as an example to us all. While life has its challenges, each day is a gift and an opportunity to love and be loved.
On Friday, I wrote about the inevitable fork in the road we all must face at times in our lives. But what happens when the decision is made? As Ladyfriend likes to say, "then what?"
It's unavoidable. When you've made a commitment to a direction, you will face difficulties. If not immediately, eventually. When I moved to Rocklin, I got laid off of three different jobs in my first six months, and my mom passed away. Many years earlier, when my parents sold all they had to move to Costa Rica to start a ministry, they faced difficulties that would make lesser people crumble. That's the thing. When you make a choice to get serious with God, and you choose the path that requires faith in Him, you will face obstacles and challenges that will cause you to question your decision.
Know this up front. It's going to happen.
This doesn't make you a bad person. This doesn't mean you're a bad Christian. It means that you're human. Yeah, I know. Deal with it.
But when you face difficulties, stick with it! Indecision and doubt will paralyze you. Proverbs 16:3 tells us to commit it all to the Lord. Dedicate what you're doing to the Lord, and He will bless it. He will see that you succeed. The key is, you have to submit your definition of success to God's definition. God's definition isn't necessarily what ours is. People evaluate success by what they can see. The clothes you wear. The car you drive. The house you live in. God evaluates success by what is not visible to the naked eye. What happens in your heart will eventually manifest itself in visible, tangible ways. Whether your heart is evil, or filled with God's love, your heart will be exposed in time.
If you're truly committed to reaching new heights in your faith, you must be willing to plunge to new depths of life experiences. Battles are not won without getting some dirt on your uniform. Taking enemy ground means having to traverse some unpleasant terrain. It's simply the way things are. But in doing so, you will discover your ability to go far beyond your perceived limitations. I thought I knew where my breaking points were. But the only way I could see what I was capable of, was to trust God when I was marching into the teeth of difficulties. I was in too deep. There was no turning back. I was committed. Still, with no regret.
I know I'm not painting a rosy picture. I would be doing you a disservice by telling you that navigating the road less traveled would be like cruising the New England countryside in October. As I have said frequently, time moves forward. By virtue of that, we have no choice but to move forward, as well. Time is like a bulldozer at our backs. It is always nudging, pushing, even forcing us to face things in front of us. The only way we can get past obstacles is to go through them. Think of video games. The only way to get to the next level is to successfully complete the one you're on. You can't say, "nah, this one's too tough. I'll just skip it." There is no greater feeling of accomplishment than overcoming obstacles. Face the challenge, and overcome!
The path of least resistance will not make you stronger in life. If you're serious about being an achiever, an overcomer, then you have to meet your challenges head on. Strap on your armor. Put on your helmet. Grab your sword and shield. Give your best war cry, and watch what God can do in and through you!
There are times in our lives when we face difficult decisions. Often, there is no clear evidence that one way is good, while the other is bad. It's normal that each path has its share of pros and cons, especially from the limited view and perspective we have at the moment.
Just over two years ago, I faced a significant fork in the road in my own life. The decision to stay in San Jose, or to move to a new area. I loved San Jose. I was very involved and firmly planted in my church. I had wonderful friends. I had a good job. As a sports fan, I was anywhere from a few minutes from the arena to see the Sharks, to 45 minutes to the ballpark to see the Giants. But at the same time, there was something within me that was unsettled.
I know what you're thinking, but I don't eat sushi.
I was presented with a situation that would mean me relocating to Rocklin, about 140 miles from San Jose. The situation wasn't something that was once-in-a-lifetime or anything. It was actually nothing that significant at face value. But I could see that the ripple effect from going down that road would be life-changing. Eventually, I stood at the place where my next step would have to be a commitment to one way or the other.
There is someone special in my life who my best friends jokingly, and respectfully refer to as "Ladyfriend". So for the time being, that's how I will refer to her in Crossing Paths. She is facing her own fork in the road. The thing is, her fork has about twelve different options, and all carry potential consequences which make mine look like choosing between the Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.
When looking at the fork in the road, it's impossible to determine that one is the correct road, and all other options are wrong. It's frustrating. It's frightening. It's overwhelming. In my case, I prayed and prayed. I thought and thought. But when it came down to making a decision, I considered one simple, inescapable factor.
Which path will require more faith?
That was it. All other questions made each path seem completely equal. That was the only question in which I could see a clear distinction. I knew that moving to a new city, going to a new church, getting a new job, and all the other starting-over elements were going to require me to reach a new level of faith. A level I had never faced before. I knew neither path would be wrong, but I was certain that taking the road to Rocklin would require of me a level of faith and spiritual maturity that you can only reach in sacrifice. I would have to sacrifice the familiar and comfortable nest I had built over a decade's time, for the great unknown.
The path has not been an easy one, but it's one I have never regretted.
If you're not currently facing a fork in the road, you will. If it is not clear to you which is the path to take, don't flip a coin or refer to the Magic 8 ball. Ask for wisdom. Consider which path will require the most faith. That doesn't mean do something stupid or that puts you in danger. It means consider the path that will require you to trust in, and rely on God in a way that makes you uncomfortable to think about.
If you know someone who is in this situation right now, support them. Advise them. Pray with, and for them. You cannot make the decision for them. Sometimes you may have a better view of the situation than they do. Be the voice of wisdom. Ask the question. What will bring you to a higher level of faith?
11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
In this era, of the 24 hour news cycle, paparazzi, Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, iPads, iPhones and so on and so on, it is increasingly difficult to live a quiet life, and not know the details of everyone you know. I don't have a problem with social media. I utilize it. However, where is the line drawn?
In business, in ministry, in friendships, it's critical to communicate, network and promote. Today, a 12 year old with a laptop can make themselves famous, or infamous, with a single 30 second YouTube video available to the entire world.
I recently crossed the scripture I used to open this post. I've read it before, numerous times. But this particular time, it hit me in a profound way. So many of us live our lives in complete contradiction to these verses. So many people live their lives on such a loud scale, they become a nuisance. You know what I mean. Like the car with the stereo so loud, you can hear the exterior of the car vibrating. The occupants of the car seem to think that we all need to hear the song to which they are listening. In truth, all we hear is the annoying pounding of the bass in the subwoofer. There are those who literally believe everyone needs to know their every thought and action in a given day. Yet, it doesn't take long before all that the rest of us hear anymore is a pointless boom-boom-boom.
And how many people get swept away by living vicariously through the perceived excitement of someone else's life, rather than living their own? But that's another topic for another day.
As with all things, moderation is the key. I use a lot of tools to connect, network and promote. But I have seen the damage that can come by becoming obsessed with them.
When I read these verses again recently, I thought of the people in my life I respect and admire most. Some of them use social media tools. None of them are controlled or dependent on them. Their greatest and most significant accomplishments happen outside of the self-created limelight. They don't need accolades. They don't need applause. They don't even want any of that. They are not busy-bodies, prying into the lives of others. They are not gossips. They are not attention seekers. They are simply good people of strong character, even when no one notices. There is something profound in living a simple and quiet life. You can still live a full and exciting life while being quiet. When I think of quiet, I think of how keen my senses are to my surroundings. Like being in nature, away from honking car horns, sirens, construction sites, and the tumult of 21st century living. When you get away from it all, you hear the birds singing. You can hear the gentle lapping of the water at the lake's edge. It's peaceful.
"Make it your ambition," means it has to be a choice. Determine that you will put less of your effort on broadcasting your life, and instead, live it in a way that pleases, honors and reflects the attributes of the One who breathed life into you. Be a person of strong character. Do good even when no one else will ever see or hear of it. The more you promote yourself, the more dependent you become on the accolades of others, and you lose their respect. The more you seek to do good solely for the eyes of God, the more respect you will have for yourself, and the ones who matter will soon follow.
I have found it to be true that circumstances don't change who we are, but they reveal who we are. As of today, there are 99 days remaining in 2010. As an introspective guy, I find myself assessing the previous 266. It has been an eventful year in some ways, rather uneventful in others. Only God knows what lies ahead, but I pray that the things I've experienced in my own life, and the things I've observed in the lives of others, serve to prepare me for what, to me, is unknown.
Life is simply a collection of events that happen from the time we're born, to our final breath. Many of the events are conditions of our decisions and actions, and many events pop up in front of us without any warning or provocation. In either case, we have to face them. Do we let them change us, or do we stay the course.
The difference between a thermometer and a thermostat is that one reports to you the temperature, while the other controls the temperature. I know so many people who had difficulties growing up. Many of them are thermometers, living their lives as victims. Their actions and ongoing drama are perpetual reminders of the conditions that surrounded them when they were younger. This is also true for those who had good upbringings, but their adult lives have woven a pattern of underachievement. As thermometers, they let their conditions dictate their lives.
Yet, others are thermostats. They live their lives choosing not to be a victim. They live their lives looking to make a difference. They see obstacles as opportunities. They don't wish their lives to be difficult, but rather than wallow in pity or self destruction, they strap on their armor and get after it. There are 99 days left in 2010. In the days, months and years that have led to this moment in your life, have you been a thermometer or a thermostat? If you're feeling challenged to stop being reactive, and become proactive, you have to make a choice. Don't let one more day go by being a slave to your circumstances. Don't let 2010 go out with a whimper. God didn't create you to be a slave to your past. He didn't create you to be a victim. He created you to be an overcomer!
Even the strongest in mind and spirit get worn down. But as Isaiah 40:28-31 says, your strength will be renewed when you place your trust, your reliance, and your hope in God. I don't know about you, but I needed this reminder. I have stretches where I am on fire and empowered. But I also have stretches when I find myself in a funk. These periods are sneaky. You don't realize you're there until you've been there for awhile and you take time to stop and assess things.
Today is a new day. Strap it on and get after it! Don't allow yourself to be controlled by circumstances. Choose to see this as an opportunity to overcome and get over the things which would either hold you back, or stand between you and your goals!
Last week, Barack Obama spoke before the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. As he was wrapping up his speech, he quoted a fairly well-known passage from the Declaration of Independence. In doing so, he left out three rather significant words.
What do you think? An honest mistake? A deliberate omission? What does this say to you about today's climate between government and Christianity?
On this, the ninth anniversary of the most horrible event any of us have ever witnessed, I find myself conflicted. On one hand, I'm compelled to saturate my consciousness with the images of that day. I need to remember. I must not allow myself to become complacent about how I feel about my country. I must remember so that I can reflect on where I've come from, and how our country has changed since that day. I must process these thoughts and feelings in order to keep my life and my priorities in their proper perspective.
On the other hand, I'm disgusted with how divided we have become as a country. September 11th is a day of memorial. It should be a day of reflection. It should be a day to count our blessings. It should be a day in which we are reminded that the freedom we have to disagree with one another, and even our government. Yet, it is so hated by some that they would attack innocent people within our borders in hopes of decimating our way of life.
Little by little, the corrosion of evil that pierced America that day has been eating away at our foundation ever since. Instead of September 11th being a day of unity, of reflection, of humility, of sadness, of pride, it has become a day self-serving, attention craving fools use to further an agenda. September 11th has become a pile of feces on the ground into which they rub the noses of those they hate.
Ground Zero will always be synonymous with the footprint in which the World Trade Center towers once stood. However, that is the tangible, geographical place. The real ground zero is intangible. Nine years later, our focus has shifted from the nearly 3,000 lives lost, to ideology. Faith. Religion. Today, we have a knucklehead in Florida who stirred up controversy and rattled national security by threatening to burn copies of the Koran. We have the ongoing debate over the mosque, or "Islamic Cultural Center" being erected on property so close to where the towers stood, it was damaged by flaming plane parts from the attack.
This morning, I read the account of a local man I met who approached two Muslim women yesterday. As a Christian man, he found it appropriate to tell them that the kook in Florida did not represent the beliefs we uphold as believers. We do not hate. We don't share their beliefs, but we love them. It is not our desire or mission to antagonize them or attack that which they hold as sacred. One woman responded with a simple and gracious "thank you". The other lashed out at him and said that the explosion and devastation in San Bruno was God's punishment for the threat of the Koran burning.
Ground Zero.
As time moves forward and I'm pounded over the head by those who claim we're intolerant, I choose to stand for what I believe. I choose to practice what I believe. You don't have to believe as I do, but you cannot, and will not deprive me of doing so. Nor will I seek to deprive you. I am an American. I am a Christian. Like it or not, America is rooted in Christianity. It is no surprise that both are under attack. Those who would like to destroy us do not hate us. They hate what we believe. They hate what we stand for.
The real Ground Zero. May we never forget. May we have the courage to defend it.
