The relief in not understanding

This year has been most unusual for me. As we approach Thanksgiving, I typically find myself being introspective and retrospective. In doing each, I discover the beautiful mess this year has been. I have discovered the sheer beauty in not worrying about trying to understand everything, and just letting it happen.

In what seemed at the time to be going with the flow in life, some seen and unseen extraordinary things were happening in my life. From a seemingly chance encounter which evolved into a life-altering relationship, to moments of sheer frustration which proved to be God's providential hand of protection.

I've always subscribed to the thought that life can only be lived forward, but understood in reverse. The past few years have been loaded with this kind of revelation. Hardly a day goes by without a layer of understanding being added to my life. But the most liberating understanding has come in finding the peace in not needing to understand everything.

I pray every single day that God would order my steps. I pray for His guidance, His wisdom, His protection, His provision and His strength as I go through my day. I find myself worrying less. I find myself trusting more.

Have you ever found yourself frustrated when you leave a location, get in the car, drive a half mile down the road, only to realize you forgot something? You drive back to the point of origin, muttering insults to yourself, get that item, then return to your car. You're all upset that you just wasted 5 minutes you'll never get back. But en route to your destination, you pass a car accident that very likely may have included you had it not been for the momentary diversion.

I have had numerous experiences like that, even in the past several weeks. I can easily connect the dots from the "ahh crap" moment, to the "ahh ha!" moment. I can see God's fingerprints on everything, including the inconveniences in life.

I am learning the great relief it is to embrace the seemingly mundane inconveniences and occurrences in life, and see that those very things may serve a greater significance in the big picture that I'm unable to see at the moment.

God has been faithful to answer my daily requests. As a planner, a person who sees an invisible itinerary mapping out each day, this new mindset has been a long time in the making.

⁹ A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

~Proverbs 16:9

²³ The LORD makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
²⁴ though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

~Psalms 37:23-24